Some call them wrinkles but to me they are laugh lines. James British-Columbia, Canada - WirSindDu


Some people call them wrinkles but to me they are laugh lines...

I am the son of a Hungarian immigrant.

My father came over to Canada in the 1956 failed Hungarian revolution. I’m the middle child of 5 children. My wife, Heidi, is the oldest of two children from divorced parents. She also has two half siblings from her father’s second marriage.

We both lived in both Ontario and British Columbia over the years.

I met Heidi when I was 22 years old in 1988.

When I first met her I thought she was crazy beautiful. I was not, however, in love with her. I didn’t know her but saw her from afar. To me she was like beautiful art. Truly gorgeous.

A group of us rented wet suits and were snorkeling down the Elk River in Campbell River, British Columbia, Canada.

A young woman named Dorrie had mentioned that her friend Heidi would be at the other end to take pictures of us when we got out of the river. Dorrie introduced Heidi and the pictures were taken. I was enthralled with Dorrie at the time so I felt no major attraction to Heidi at the time.

Later, Heidi and I both worked at a lodge called Painters Lodge in Campbell River.

She was the hostess in the dining room (a very upscale dining room) and I was the cook.

I didn’t know her at all at this time. I did, however, notice how beautiful she was but never thought I stood a chance. The reason I felt this way was because she was, in every societal way, out of my league at that time.

She was stunningly beautiful and I was very, and I mean very, average.

She was tall and gorgeous and I was 5’6″ and not what one would call typically “handsome”. On top of that she was out of my league at that time with respect to where she was in life. She had already completed a university degree and I had dropped out of UBC after 1 year. I was also making $6/hour cooking back then.

Christmas of 1988 we had a staff party.

Heidi, for some reason, had too much to drink and spent the first few hours sitting in my lap (which thrilled me!).

She was upset that her boyfriend had broken up with her. She then proceeded to tell me over and over that she was in love with “Nick”. I avoided her the rest of the night, as I’m embarrassed to say, I felt there was no chance of me getting lucky that night.

I also stopped drinking that night.

Later, around 2am at the party’s end, I was straight sober and was leaving. As I walked out I heard someone crying. Heidi was crying into her girlfriends arms, still extremely drunk and extremely upset about the breakup. I really felt she just needed to get home safely and I volunteered to give her a ride home.

The teasing from the other guys around me was frustrating.

They teased me with statements like.. “oh yeah James.. you are going to give the hot drunk redhead a ride home.. YEAH RIGHT!” as if I was going to take advantage.  It bothered me because I truly had no ulterior motives. She was a human being who was hurting and I just wanted to help.

So I gave her a ride home and she invited me in for tea. Somehow, I knew tea meant tea. Nothing else. So we had tea and we talked until 6am in the morning.

I was now in love.

I loved this person. We did not have "love at first sight" but instead, for me, it was "love at first talk!"

We became best friends overnight. Just friends. I learned that she was truly beautiful inside also. This is why I began to fall in love with her. It was not because of her looks, it was because of the person she is.

We would have sleep overs (as friends, nothing sexual). We’d watch movies, we’d go for dinner etc.  She kept reminding me that we were just friends. I was literally so in love with her that I was determined that this amazing, brilliant, wonderful young woman must be in my life. If it is just friendship, then so be it. I will be her best friend until my last breath. She was worth it!

Then about a month later, she started to feel romantic towards me.

She made the first move. My heart nearly exploded. It truly felt too good to be true. I used to believe foolish expressions such as “nice guys finish last”, yet it was being a nice guy that got me the woman of my dreams.

She had dated two other guys prior, who didn’t treat her very well. She was ready for someone who would just love the heck out of her and I was certainly ready to be that guy.

Now, 33 years later (and 29 years married) we are more in love than ever.

It has not always been easy. We’ve gone through some really rough times (with our families and even our children) but we’ve grown stronger together.  

Perhaps she is now not as physically beautiful as she was back then. She is, however, even more beautiful inside.

We have grown to love one another more and more each day. She has a few laugh lines around her eyes now…(some call them wrinkles but to me they are laugh lines). I have made her laugh and laugh for 30 years now. Those little lines are my trophies. I worked hard to create them. I tried my best to keep her laughing and smiling while knowing she is loved more and more. I would be heartbroken if she got plastic surgery to get rid of them!

I can honestly say I am looking forward to the point in our lives when we are both so old and wrinkly that we both insist on keeping the lights out during love making! (okay… this is a joke! I will always want to look into her eyes!)

So I ask you, with this love, what is it about being old, wrinkled and grey, would change her beauty inside?
I will answer my own question… nothing.. absolutely nothing.

James Meszaros

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