What's like being my age. Asad Gurugram, India - WirSindDu


What's like being my age.

I just started thinking about how it is like being 23.

To help my brain out, I started dwelling on how life was at 18,19,20…. I was just reading ‘The Outsider’ by Albert Camus when I stumbled on this question.

These lyrics from a Jeremy Zucker song describes 23 pretty well for me. Will pour these out these in this write up to distract you.

I might lose my mind
Waking when the sun’s down
Riding all these highs
Waiting for the comedown
Walk these streets with me
I’m doing decently
Just glad that I can breathe, yeah

It hit me that I was18 and it feels like YESTERDAY.

Twenty three is a number when you are fresh out of college but your juniors have also graduated so it feels like you are not.

Twenty three is an age when you start earning good money but you don’t know how to save lr spend it at right places either.

The age when you become an Individual first, then a son, a brother, a boyfriend or someone else.

Now I’m shaking, drinking all this coffee
These last few weeks have been exhausting
I’m lost in my imagination
And there’s one thing that I need from you
Can you come through, through?
Through, yeah
And there’s one thing that I need from you
Can you come through?

This is an age when you don't like being home but you miss your family at the same time.

You keep dwelling on the fact that how good it would be if you can stay with your family. But once you are back home, you want to get back to your own place in few days.

This is this time when your old relationships look so sweet to you now.

Everything bad that happened in the past looks small and meek.

You miss people who have been around because now you have less people around. Everyone around you is running, changing jobs, going abroad for post graduation.

You feel left out all the time.

This is the time when people stop pushing you to do stuff in your life.

Yes you are in the driving seat now, with steering in your hand. 

Your parents won’t tell you to complete your work, they won’t ask you to change because your clothes smell like grass. 

Now you have to realise certain things yourself. You will finally figure it out how to do laundry and buy groceries.

This is an age when you have so much energy but no will to work at times.

You have been working so hard to make a living and now you want to cherish it but then the world won’t wait for you. You want to do so much but time is just flying.

This is an age when you keep thinking how old you will get next year, two years later and so on.

And it hits you differently everytime you realize 

“OH MY GOD 25 IN 2023”

This is the time when drinks and smoke don't fancy you anymore.

It is not a forbidden fruit for you. No one is coming to catch you, you live by yourself. You are just habituated to these habits and you start regretting these habits.

Ain’t got much to do
Too old for my hometown
Went to bed at noon
Couldn’t put my phone down
Scrolling patiently
It’s all the same to me
Just faces on a screen, yeah

This is the age you have always dreamt about.

You are earning money, you still have energy to do everything you want in life, the boundations don’t exist anymore. 

But one thing that you never thought of is this feeling of being in the driving seat yourself. It’s scary but you will fall and learn. I have been low, I am trying to get up even now.

Everytime I take pictures of myself I start zooming in here and there. I am just very conscious somehow at 23. I have never been this conscious about the way I look and carry myself. I meet people and professionals who expect me to be a grown up but I know I am still not there yet. I still need to grow.

This is the age at which you thought you will be that ‘someone’ you've always admired so much.

Regretting on the fact of not being able to make it ‘there’, 

you forget that you are someone being admired by others.

So you better be grateful at 23…33….43…

Because you never know 🙂

Asad Zuberi

Studied at Motilal Nehru
National Institute of Technology,
Allahabad, India
Graduated 2019

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